When I began this blog, I aspired to serve a purpose: I wanted
to connect you to the joy and happiness of the light and protect you from the
loneliness that comes from the dark; I wanted you to know you aren’t alone in
this journey. In the last month of
thought and word not left on page I have struggled to do exactly that, remind
myself that I am not alone.
After three posts in
my blog, I was beginning to create a pressure to expose my collective insights
to all of you; to assign words to the thoughts in my mind and to explain or
inspire some reflection to anyone in any situation. In June, I began a
commitment to not only write down my thoughts, observations, and ideas, but to
develop a relationship between myself and my audience (whoever you are), between
my internal and my external, and between
my thoughts and my voice. I began to
realize this is more about me than I expected it to be.
At times I have felt unworthy of doing the things I love; to
let myself free to thrive creatively and reflectively. I begin, as you can
conclude, to create a pressure to attend to others needs and expectations
before my own (Ironically, you see a declination of self confidence and conviction
from my previous posts; what happened to my direction and "un-expectations"?). As
many of us thrive on those highs of life and grasp as well as we can to those
gold stars God seems to send down from heaven, why do we so negatively receive
the lows and disregard the silver stars that are given?
In life there will be days that you will be discouraged and
you will feel sadness in your heart and mind that will seem to never go away,
but you must not let it overcome you. Little do we realize by not helping
ourselves, we cannot help others; we can neither hope to connect to the joy and
happiness, nor protect from the loneliness life may bring. Someone very special
to me once said, “Focus on the things that make you happy, even if they are
small”; that day I realized that your light, no matter how small a flame, can
never be overcome by the darkness.
I encourage you to discover your flame. Let it dwell in your
joy and happiness and be an inspiration in your loneliness. You can only help
others by helping yourself.
Do what you love.
